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| David Cameron is Dead! |
While information is sketchy at the
moment, whistleblowers within 10 Downing Street report he died
following a stab wound to his back which punctured his heart.
Police are currently searching for
Cameron's close ally and friend Chancellor George Osborne to help
with enquires. No further information has been made public at this
point.
Coming only days after damaging
revelations were reported by BBC news of an imminent scandal which
was posed to break, David Cameron cancelled all public appointments
and over-sea trips.
Reported to be the biggest scandal in
British history, the Serious Fraud Office (SFO) were said to be
liaising with the British Army's Special Investigation Branch (SIB)
to start making arrests of “prominent figures at the core of the
British Establishment.”
Gordon Bowden, ex RAF officer has
released a statement today claiming that following a 13 year
investigation into corruption, he has uncovered detailed and forensic
evidence suggesting billions and billions of pounds have been stolen
from public funds, via the setting up of 250,000 phoney oil and gas
companies registered from a few addresses in Finchely Road, London.
He said, “The United Kingdom is
riddled with fraud.”
Extra guards have been posted outside
Buckingham Palace and 10 Downing Street.
Sir Bernard Hogan-Howe, the
Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police has warned of mass public
disruption once the full extent of the scandal is made public.
Buckingham Palace have yet to comment.
London Major Boris Johnson was last
seen jumping on his bike saying, “I'm out of here mate!”
We will up-date you with any further
information as it happens.
(Disclaimer: As you have guessed by now this is a spoof, though we live in hope!)
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